How many coin flips does it take to schedule NHL salary arbitration?

Answer: One.

After players and clubs in the National Hockey League file for salary arbitration, a list is drawn up and scheduling begins. This is more complicated than you’d expect. The NHL and PA jointly appoint eight salary arbitrators who are members of the National Academy of Arbitrators (yes, that’s a thing), and then:

Weird, eh?

Not spelled out in the documents: What happens if the coin hits the table and falls to the ground? Do a bunch of executives in Tom Ford suits dive down to see where it landed and make sure nobody is cheating? What if the guy calling it says, “HEADS!” and then, while the coin is still flipping in the air, says, “NO, NO, TAILS!” That doesn’t seem fair. Also, who picks the coin? Who flips the coin, ’cause that could be an unfair advantage. What if the NHL guy has to call it in the air, but the PA guy shouts “whooop!” or “douche!” or something to psych him out?

We can only hope these issues get sorted out in the new CBA.

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