Tags

,

Wednesday marks the National Hockey League’s trade deadline, and players everywhere will be nervously checking their smartphones to find out if they, or their buddies, have been dealt.

Contrary to popular belief, professional athletes are real people, and they have to deal with some significant upheaval when said trades go down.

So, imagine you’ve just been told by the general manager or, more likely, one of the Canadian television networks (TSN or Sportsnet) that you should start packing your bags. What’s next? Well, the NHL’s collective bargaining agreement (the last one — the new one isn’t out yet) lays out some post-trade provisions.

1) Wait, what is this trade of which you speak?

1-trade

Okay, you’re a big dumb dummy if you don’t know what a trade is without the contractual definition.

2) But wait, I have a no-trade clause!

Well, if you’re on the move, it’s because you agreed to waive it. But be warned, once you’re traded, your no-trade clause is toast unless your new team gives you a note saying otherwise. Don’t get too comfy.

2-trade

 

3) But I already own this house here.

3-tradeOh.

4) What do I do with all my stuff?

4-trade

 

5) Yeah but where am I sleeping tonight?

5-trade

 

6) What about my wife (or living companion)?

6-trade

 

So there you go. Moving sucks, but at least you have help.

 

 

About these ads