The most beloved players in sports are the ones who excel when it matters most: Playoff time, baby. Walk away with the championship trophy and journalists will forever use the word “clutch” in articles about you. Fans will watch your exploits and be all, “man, that Joey Joe Joe, he is just … so … clutch.” Sports drink companies will hire you for commercials to convince people that drinking a certain brand of sports drink will make them clutch in life — just like you.
And if you’re in the NFL, making the playoffs means you’ll be able to buy one or more clutches that are also attached to sports cars, thanks to your big bonus cheque.
Okay, correction: If you just make it to the wild card round, your playoff cash will only get you like a Chevrolet Cruze, but still, better than nothing, right?
If you win the Super Bowl though, you won’t be driving off in a Hyundai, as modern philosopher Kanye West has told us. You’ll be hopping in your Maserati to go home for a good night’s sleep on your mattress of cash.
And what’s even better than making the playoffs? Making that stupid game nobody cares about except the league’s corporate sponsors, the Pro Bowl.
So, just so we’re clear, from a financial perspective, it makes more sense to lose the Pro Bowl than it does to win a playoff game. Of course, we shouldn’t be surprised about that.
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